Assertives

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I’m wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’s alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

she asked me, hows my love life? i do not even have a love. how the hell am i going to have a love life? LOL. that is the best and weird random question she gave it to me. (:

hmm. lets see. i let people vent their anger on me, wet my shoulders, hurt my ears, warm their body and do stuff to let them feel good and comfortable. but why, sometimes, when i need someone. they will be nowhere to be found. i mean. some of them are there for me. yes, i do appreciate them. and i know i love them loads just for being there for me. i miss my friends. especially the complete dodols. where are we? im searching for us high and low. walking through the icy snow and the deserted summer, still i cant find us. where isit? hmmm.when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.

wan, i know u used to like/love me but i rejected u without hesitation. and i do not care for that. but losing u as a friend is a big lost for me. u make me laugh smile and all those stuff. u were there for me though sometimes u are being such a sacarstic ass. u were just like my lover but my bestfriend too. why have u changed? why have u loose all the memories that we had? hmm. now, it is up to u to decide. whether to keep this friendship up or just draw a line and make it to a restricted area. remember, i will always be here waiting to accept u back as my friend (:

another frustration and sadness.

i do not know how to put it in words. all i am feeling now is just sad. Sad plus frustration. hmm, guess how am i typing now? i didnt even look at the keyboard while typing. hmm. plus i am just staring. frustrated cause my mom didnt even understand what situation i am in now. all she saw in me was “i want to enjoy to the fullest”  NO! that’s not it. i have neglected alot of my friends. i have been spending time at home alot since the starting of examination. hmm. yes. i did go to parties and stuff. but i did not neglect my family. i know my own limits. i never let people control me cause i hate being controlled. erghh. the saddest part is my mom shouted at me on the phone when i talked to her nicely. is this what u get for being nice to people? is this what you get for staying at home all along? whatever people. now, if i reject going out with you guys, i am sorry. i just do not want to add the frustrated plus leave more scars on my heart.

still, i am looking forward to enjoy like i did at sentosa party with cousins and friends. really had a blast time shaking my head (:

frustrated

why am i frustrated? Hah. good part.

first thing is:

people know how to ask for money and want that money now. can. of course can give right? BUT ! when we ask for the money back.. they canot. it is a must to bring forward the payment. huh. wth. easy job. police report. that is me. or shud i say. US ! (:

the second thing is:

Friends? what friends are for? we do things each other. contact each other frequently. i mean that though it is a trouble to contact each other but still ! take the initiative to tell what is going on. so that we know. but NO ! my friends which i wont mention their name here. went to the places we have went already. and they didnt even bother to tell us. and the best part is. we change the date for them. cause they say they can only make it on the weekends. yes, we did change it. but ! alast, they told us they couldnt. huh. and one by one. they gave us this whore attitude which i really hate. yes mai. i take back those of my words. but do i regret or do THEY regret? fine, they want to confront me? i will be oblige to do that. realise their mistakes. i ahve so many things to shoot them. one of it is , kay fine, i have alot of friends out there. but they told me that i should at least make some time for them. but now. since they have a bf. did they EVER EVER make time for us? maybe in sch times. but holidays? gosh ! ahh. whatever. frustrated.

those are only 2 things. but what abt the rest? enough of troubles. fck it men. PERANGAI DOG AH SATU2.